Regret
by Amarie Miriel
Summary: One shot. Takes place after Dartz's defeat. Mai thinks about what she has done and the people she betrayed, mainly one blond deulist. MaixJoey


A/N: _Italics_ Mai's thoughts

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or anything else of importance. The idea for this fic is all my own though.

Regret

She fled, rubber tires spinning rapidly over the black asphalt road. She had to get away. She had betrayed the only people who had ever extended the hand of true friendship. They expected nothing in return. What a fool she had been! Shame and regret could be her only companions now. As the wind whipped her blond curls into a tangled stream behind her, grief pounded through her heart. She felt the hot prickle of tears that threatened to spill from her violet eyes. She blinked rapidly to clear them away. Mai Valentine did not cry. What good would tears be now anyway?

Mai pulled over and resignedly turned off her motorcycle. Pulling off her helmet, she glanced at her surroundings. She was on the side of a deserted rural road. As she trudged through the grass, brambles and briars tore at the flesh on her exposed legs. She barely noticed the stinging. She had endured much more pain than this. Her broken heart's anguish drowned out this insignificant discomfort. Loosing the desire to continue walking, she sank down beneath a large, shady tree onto a broad gray slab of stone about twenty feet from her bike. The rock was cold and hard, just like her heart had been. Her lips curved into a sardonic smirk. Rocks were solid and unchanging, wasn't her heart this way as well? She was a self-proclaimed loner; it must be her fate to travel the road of life friendless. Mai could never be worthy of the selfless friendship that had been offered to her. She was worse than that arrogant CEO, Seto Kaiba. At least he showed slight compassion to his little brother. At least he was loyal to his family. She had abandoned her friends and turned against them. A traitor, that's what she was.

_That stuck up rich brat has more of a heart than I do. How pathetic. Heh, that sounds like something he would say._ Mai rolled her eyes and sighed.

As her thoughts turned to those she had left behind, those she had practically stabbed in the back, she sighed again and closed her eyes. Faces drifted through her mind's eye. Faces she would never see again. Spiky haired Yugi Moto was first. His short stature seemed inadequate to hold his abnormally large heart. He and the Pharaoh had rescued her from the shadow realm at risk to their own souls. She involuntarily shuddered at the memory of that cold, dark, lonely void. How had she repaid them? Not with gratitude, no. She had helped their enemy attempt to do the very thing to them that they had rescued her from. Against her will, a tear slipped through cracked lids, leaving a streaky trail of mascara down her face. Angrily she brushed it away. She thought of Tea Gardner and Tristan Taylor next. They too had been willing to accept her into their circle of friendship with open arms. Another tear fell and her hand again wiped it off her cheek.

Joey Wheeler. She did not want to remember the depth of her betrayal of him but her mind ignored her heart's anguished cry of protest. His grinning face wormed its way into her mind's eye. Her throat closed up with grief as she thought of his warm brown eyes that were perpetually partially obscured by his shaggy mop of blond hair. Those eyes had haunted her throughout this nightmare she had been living.

_In my madness I thought if Joey were out of my life my pain would leave with him. Now I know that his absence is the cause of my misery._

His eyes had always looked upon her with kindness, tenderness even, despite the mischievous twinkle that seemed to be omnipresent in his chocolate orbs. Mai's slender hand pressed against her rosy lips in order to stifle the gasp that suddenly filled her lungs.

_He loves me! How could I have been so blind so as not to see it before now? He cares for me as more than just a friend, but I was too caught up in my self to realize it._

Her bare shoulders began to shake. Violent sobs wracked her slender frame. Tears now streamed down her face; she no longer tried to wipe them away. Mai wrapped her arms around herself, as though she were trying to stop her heart from breaking. As she curled into a fetal position, Mai could only moan as the full impact of what she had callously thrown away hit her. Men had entered her life for brief periods of time and they always left her feeling used and empty inside. Joseph Wheeler was the first and only man who had shown her true love and affection and she had tossed him away like last week's garbage. The cocky duelist risked his soul to rescue her from Marik's punishment and lost. Even after tasting defeat he still tried to rescue her from the orichalchos that had poisoned her mind and warped her heart. Even after all she'd done, all the cutting things she'd said to him, he still protected her. When Yugi and Kaiba dueled Dartz he had taken a blow for her, shielding her with his own body. He had looked just like a medieval knight protecting his lady from a fiery dragon's blast.

Hours passed until her sobs gradually subsided. She slowly got up, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. She didn't even bother to brush off the dry leaves that were matted into her tangled tresses or the dirt that smudged her once immaculate shorts, navy sleeveless jacket and black undershirt. She felt soiled on the inside too. She was unworthy of Joey's love and the others' friendship.

_The best thing would be for him to forget all about me. Joey needs a girl who won't betray him like I did. He deserves so much better._

Mai slowly walked over to her motorcycle and stooped to pick up her helmet. She placed it over her head and mechanically got on her bike. She sat for a moment then, straightening with determination, she turned they key and drove back onto the road. She would try to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart and move on with life. She would never return to Domino, never see Joey again. She owed him that much. He deserved a girl who would stay by his side, loyal to the end. As she drove off to the horizon Mai resigned herself to the fact that she would probably never be loved like that again. She resolved that she would never forget the teenager who had entered her life for such a brief time and left such a tremendous impact. She knew without a doubt that she would never stop loving him. Ever.

A/N So how was it? I know that there are defiantly areas that could be a whole lot better. This is my first attempt at romance after all. Please review and help me out! Even if you don't have anything to say about it, if you read it PLEASE just let me know that you did. Thanks!


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